I put my faith in everyone else.
But no one puts their faith in me,
because I don’t have faith in myself. 

While silently enduring another lecture about smoking…

She said, “Do you want to destroy yourself?”

 At the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Today, the new tenants moved into the room which I have been living in for the past 9 years. I’m a stranger to my own home.

Mum says we have over $150,000 worth of debt owed to the bank for the house. Seeing as how it is impossible for us to pay for all that since we’re now a zero income family, we would be moving to Johor in the near future where the rent is cheaper.

I’d probably be crashing someone’s hall until I graduate.

I just want a simple life. Is that too much to ask?

 

to earn some respect for what you do.

A strange new (re-)appreciation for something I gave up on a few years ago.

It’s funny how people start treating you differently once they know the truth.

TITLE: Friends
Illustrated by Neil Brian Alapide
Digitally Rendered by Hazri Sapuan

I  can already feel it. The more people know what’s going on, the less inclined they are to speak to me for fear that they might say something that uncomfortably alludes to my personal situation, intentional or not.

When things get stressful, it’s easy to chastise others for not being where they need to be, or completing whatever tasks assigned to them. Why do I get this feeling that others think that I’m being deliberately incompetent?

I just want to produce things that are worthy. Worthy of our efforts in other areas. Worthy of our reputation.

I wished things didn’t happen the way they did. When I meet certain expectations, I end up neglecting other expectations. Why is it so hard to do the right thing and give 100% to everything that needs tending to?

On one hand trying to be a responsible son to an ailing father, and on the other trying to meet the expectations of others in producing a piece of work.

What’s worse is that I get flack for not being where I need to be when I’m trying to achieve all of the above.

Maybe I’ve just been searching for friends in all the wrong places. Real ones stick with you through thick and thin, point out your failings but accept them.

I’m not planning to stay for very long after all this is over. 

When people tell me, “I wish him a speedy recovery,” or “Hope he gets well soon.”

I want to tell them thank you and yes, I hope he does too. 

He might be able to recover, but he’ll never be the same again.

I suddenly have a lot of growing up to do.

Another holiday filled with disappointments.

“Jiayou” is such superficial way to encourage someone especially when they’re stressed.